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[Writing] Improve your writing, get it revised by others
We had this thread before, checking other people's writing.
So shall I go first?
Here's the text.
Despite the intensive and short period of the course, I was able to befriend with other students, especially those from Hong Kong. I am very fortunate to have taken Prof. Chois managerial accounting. What Ive experienced through this course is just inexplicable. BUT, I am confident that it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.
Feel free to edit.
So shall I go first?

Here's the text.
Despite the intensive and short period of the course, I was able to befriend with other students, especially those from Hong Kong. I am very fortunate to have taken Prof. Chois managerial accounting. What Ive experienced through this course is just inexplicable. BUT, I am confident that it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.
Feel free to edit.
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chris.p.duck
#4237
Quote:
IMO
Grammarly is a great application to have, even if you do not upgrade it into the premium-version, so I think there's no grammar mistake in your text
I suggest several things, however, to ensure a smoother reading of your text:
Having visited Jakarta Smart City office at the beginning of this year, I was amazed by the officers' presentation on the contribution of technology in solving urban problems. For example, they can optimize the Transjakarta (public bus) routes by using big data technology. It is very interesting to know that the knowledge of technology I learned in college, can create an impact for the society. Because of that, I wish to build a career as an engineer serving in the public sector. In the near future, I strive to be able to build a technological solution for urban problems, especially for the ones in my hometown.
However, to successfully develop the appropriate technology, it is critical to understand how local government works. Joining this program serves as my essential first step to achieve that dream. This is a rare, precious opportunity to learn first hand from the local government leaders in Turkey. Furthermore, Turkey is the right place to learn about technology application for solving urban problems. In fact, Turkey builds Izmir, one of their cities, with the world's largest, in terms of project scope, Intelligent Transportation System project. I personally believe that I shall obtain numerous inspirations & solutions for my hometown after participating in this program.
Cheers!

Diubah oleh chris.p.duck 30-05-2019 15:42
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