Having Bipolar, big amount of anxiety, a little bit skizofrenic is like having a bunch of trouble at the same time. 

Trauma will attack at night, 
voices in your head, 
your reality will mix with dream, 
Sometimes you can't even say its a dream or not. 

Having suicidal thought which flow like water, 
Having bad thought about every word that people say, 

To stop the voice i just scratch my head pretty hard, 
Using my nail, 
Make sure it bleeding, 
Sometimes pretty bad that it leaves mark for a month


Everytime i draw, i never remember how to draw it when my feeling is good


Each emotion that i have mix everytime till i don't know when to feel sad, or when to smile


Sleeping just make it worst, even your dream will repeat your long trauma like a box office movie


I hate everyone, i hate my self



Can i live and think normal again? This drawing which supposed to be my medication turned out just showing how deep my stress. And i can only draw when i stress, whenever i feel good, i can't even draw sketch


Every talk that people do in front of me feels like they want me dead, or talk bad about me. 

Inilah kisah singkat pengalaman saya sebagai penderita akut selama lebih dari 15 tahun. Semoga di luar sana tidak ada yang merasakan seberat saya