Base tike, call'st thou me host? Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term; Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers
Bill, you built Tartarus so we need you to get us inside Right after I get in some quality scenery chewing first It’s sad that this will be the only entertaining part of the entire movie
What the #$%? You can't be a frost giant, I love you, no @#$%! Yeah, and I'm actually your natural nemesis Of course, since you're strong and dumb, I should be smart but weak, but mostly I'm just slimey Also, did you know Mom is Rene Russo? Rene Russo out of %$#@ng nowhere
Heyyyy brother Just so you know, Dad is in a coma so I'm king now and I'm actually a frost giant even though that has no bearing on anything at all
I hit Kirk's dad, I'm so sorry! I'm a plotdevicologist, so I would love to know more about how you got here I'm also a scientist of some kind I'm here so Natalie has someone to say sciencey stuff to. Wormholes Einstein spacetime
I have to rescue my friend, he's always been there for me when I... uh... he's... look, he was in the movie when I was skinny, that's got to count for something
Whew, now that the boring origin story is out of the way, we can get to the good stuff! Oh @#$%, the origin story was all we had, what do we do now?!
Foolish mortals, I shall destroy all of your cars! Everyone get out of the way, I don't want you to get hurt when I explode all of your cars!
It's alright, I still have a chance to exposit precisely what narrative function my death serves: this will be of such shocking emotional impact that it brings the entire team together I think you might have overinflated your importance, Agent Whatshisname
Mwa-ha-ha! At last, I have unleashed a force powerful enough to stop me! Mine is the truly greatest mind in supervilliany!
Green? You fool, you've given everything away, I know you came here to unleash Mark Ruffalo's alter ego! You realize that Mark Ruffalo was literally the only thing I talked about to Sam Jackson, right?
Tom, I'm here to manipulate you into revealing your purpose on this ship, which I will do by unloading tons of apparently-true backstory about myself Do you divulge this much information to all your enemies? For a veteran spy, you're pretty green
I have come to stop you, brah! Er, I mean, do I look to be in a gaming mood? Betwixt! Verily! Brother, it must have taken every ounce of the All-father's hurberble to plugurble you back to Earth. Let's discuss it no more
Tom, your behavior tonight is worthy of a dryly-delivered, understated quip! Where the hell did you come from? You clearly didn't parachute in, and I would have heard a jet above me. Whatever, do you really think you can stop me?
Bow before me! I may be a god, but I have incredibly low self-esteem and I require the worship of beings I claim to be as insignificant as ants! Now I shall illustrate my power by murdering the weakest, oldest man here!
Let's see - who should I brainwash? Film convention assures me that the scientist with the foreign accent will be useful for tech bullshit, and Jeremy Renner has heart, which should be useful for... heart-related villainy
You must invade Earth for us, Probably Tom Hiddleston It's getting pretty cramped here in my mother's b- I mean, the vastness of galactic space We'll give you an army of reptilian things and a stick that does whatever you need it to do at that exact given moment A lizard army and free sinister ne
Um, do you seriously think your home address is a secret? The huge ostentatious cliffside mansion that you, a public figure, drive to in nothing but expensive sports cars? In a country with 800 paparazzi per celebrity? Dude, any rimjob that can type "TMZ.com" knows where you live