Liam, I’m still super pissed at you for trapping me here, so I’m going to wake up our father Kronos so that he can OMG WHY THE @#$% DID I AGREE TO BE IN THIS SHITTY SEQUEL?!
I know! I tied it to my truck and it tore the bed clean off, destroying my flag celebrating a confederacy that wanted to secede from the country I love, my decal of a cartoon character urinating on the logo of a company whose products I don't purchase, and my rubber cast!
I have an assignment for you: star in the most expensive gamble in the history of Hollywood I can't believe it's really getting made. Do you think we're going to actually pull this off?
Chris! Now I will destroy you by using my magical cube of mayhem and evil! Noooooo, it's sending me to the next Thor movie! Just kill me instead! This plane is headed straight for New York! If I crash a plane there, the U.S. military will kill me 10 years later! Hey-oooo!
What is this @#$%, Sky Captain .... and the World of Tomorrow's Avengers? D#$n, I know they're N@#$s and all but for an upstanding superhero I sure do kill an imperial @#$%ton of people
Wow, you'd think for a movie grounded in the 1940's we'd have less obvious green-screening and hastily-rendered CGI!
Nice costume I'm guessing the only reason for including the part of the movie where you were a government bond salesman was so your real costume wouldn't look quite so ridiculous compared to that one This coming from a guy who looks like Michael Jackson after sitting in the sun for 17 hours straig
Ha ha, zilly boy! Ve have @#$%& for you! Wait, the Marvel superhero meant to most perfectly embody the ideal got his powers not from hard work, not even from luck, but from cheating by using what are basically blue steroids?
Zo, you vish to fight zee Na@#s? Yes sir. I'm willing to spend hours at the gym, eat a ton of that disgusting weight gain powder, and work my ass off if that's what it takes!
Thanks for hooking me up with a date tonight, Sebastian But the truth is, if there's one thing I love more than an awkward %$#@ with my best pal and two random girls, it's the United States of @#$%&
You %$#@, Chris! The Army won't let you join because you're weak and you look like your face is pasted onto Michael Cera's body! I may be weak, but I have a heart of gold and balls of steel! I'm always willing to fight, no matter how badly I am losing or what it's costing me!
My Random Quip Generator got damaged in the last fight, so yeah, I'm in I shall assist, mainly because I'm stuck here on Earth without the Blue Cube, but also, more importantly, because I'm stuck here on Earth without the Blue Cube
Haw haw, you've been Whedoned! It's alright, I still have a chance to exposit precisely what narrative function my death serves: this will be of such shocking emotional impact that it brings the entire team together
Mwa-ha-ha! At last, I have unleashed a force powerful enough to stop me! Mine is the truly greatest mind in supervilliany! Not so fast, Tom. I'm going to use this weapon to st--
I don't trust that guy I think he wants to use the Blue Cube to build a nuclear deterrent, which upsets me even though the exact same argument was made against my suit in my last movie Look, I know you don't trust the government, but I insist we follow the orders of our superiors Unless they deci
Unfortunately, we're unable to make progress because we all instantly hate each other for no particular reason! And I seem to hate you most of all, annoyed that you're so arrogant despite being just a regular man with a powerful suit, ignoring the irony that my powers came out of a syringe and my o
Well, no... Okay, but I assume brother-and-sister duo Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch show up for about 10 seconds to subtly imply they are @#$%ing, right?