A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service, at a hotel in Japan, which was recorded and
published in the Far East Economic Review . . . . .
( Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking " funny "
for a while after reading this. It was nominated " best email
of 1997 " )

Room Service : " Morny. Ruin sorbees "

Guest : " Sorry, I thought I dialled room-sevice "

RS : " Rye . . Ruin sorbees . . morny ! Djewish to
odor sunteen ? ? "

G : " Uh . . yes . . I'd like some bacon and eggs "

RS : " Ow July den ? "

G : " What ? ? "

RS : " Ow July den ? . . . pry,boy, pooch ? "

G : " Oh, the eggs! How do I like them ?
Sorry,scrambled please. "

RS : "Ow July dee bayhcem . . . crease ? "

G : " Crisp will be fine "

RS : " Hokay. An San tos ? "

G : " What ? "

RS : " San tos. July San tos ? "

G : " I don't think so "

RS : " No? Judo one toes ? ? "

G : " I feel really bad about this, but I don't know
what 'judo one toes' means. "

RS : " Toes ! toes ! . . . why djew Don Juan toes?
Ow bow singlish mopping we bother ? "

G : " English muffin ! ! I've got it ! You were saying
'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an Englis muffin will be fine. "

RS : " We bother ? "

G : " No . . just put the bother on the side. "

RS : " Wad ? "

G : " I mean butter . . . just put it on the side. "

RS : " Copy ? "

G : " Sorry ? "

RS : " Copy . . . tea . . . mill ? "

G : " Yes. Coffee please, and that's all. "

RS : " One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle
ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother
honey sigh, and copy . . . . rye ? ? "

G : " Whatever you say "

RS : " Tendjewberrymud "

G : " You're welcome "